WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV NEXT THURSDAY AND HEAR THE U.S. PRESIDENT GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, our greatest national priority is to put citizens back to work. That is why I am taking this opportunity to inform the Congress and all Americans what I propose to do to create jobs and stimulate our economy. But before I do that I have some confessions to make.
First, I have ignored my oath of office by failing to enforce our immigration laws. I have permitted millions of illegal aliens to enter and remain in this country and have undermined the Border Patrol and Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents in the discharge of their duties.
I have endangered our security by allowing sleeper cells to be created and staffed from the illegal population.
Second, Using the Saul Alinsky play book, I have taken us down the road toward Socialism when we all know that capitalism is what built our great country and made America what it is today – the envy of many of the other countries of the world.
Third, I squandered billions of TARP dollars on handouts to unions and special interest organizations like ACORN and La Raza that supported my candidacy to this office. I lost billions on the General Motors bailout.
Fourth, I talked about shovel-ready projects that would put America back to work without any provision to make sure only citizen workers would benefit. I admit that was a gross exaggeration. There were few such projects and the money has now been wasted.
Fifth, I lied so many times I can’t remember them anymore. A member of Congress pointed that out publicly when he said, “You lie!” He was right. I lied when I said that I didn’t know Rod Blagojevich and had only seen him at a distance at a football game. There are many photographs and phone call evidence that indicate to the contrary. ----I lied.
Sixth, I lied when I said that Obamacare would not apply to illegal aliens. There was no mechanism in the bill to verify the eligibility of applicants and no penalty for fraudulent applications. The bill therefore allows illegal aliens full access to government subsidized health care.-- I lied.
Seventh, I admit that the birth certificate I released to the public had been modified and I hereby direct the State of Hawaii to release without delay the original long form document for examination by the experts. I may have lied when I claimed to have been born in the U.S.
Eighth, I lied when I denied that I was a de facto Muslim. Every action that I have taken since I have been in office has proved to the contrary from my bowing to foreign potentates to my celebration of Ramadan and praising of Islam. However, I knew I could never achieve my personal goals unless I professed to be a Christian even if it was as a member of the Black Theology church of Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
I cannot put America back to work without the help of the Congress and the American people but I can begin by repealing my executive orders and those of some of my predecessors that have contributed to our national debt and to the lack of jobs for citizens. Yesterday, I repealed Executive Order 13166 which required government services, proceedings and publications to be available in many languages. Free interpreters were also to be made available. These are luxuries we can no longer afford and I will encourage all of the states to take similar action to make sure that taxpayer funds are not used for multi-lingual ballots, other publications and services. We will provide Public Interpreters for those who cannot afford one or who do not have a relative who can serve in that capacity. For all others, interpreters will be a billable expense.
The executive order I recently issued to cause our immigration courts and agents to focus solely on the criminal elements within the illegal alien communities is hereby rescinded in its entirety. In its place, I have issued an executive order requiring the expeditious deportation of all illegal aliens and detainees who cannot prove that they legally entered and are legally present in the U.S. I want the states to appoint Immigration Justices of the Peace (IJOPS) with federal authority and mandate so that a decision can be made in every immigration case within 24 hours of the detainees’ arrival at a detention facility.
I have directed the DHS to provide the states with a rigid set of criteria on which the IJOPs can base their decisions. In general, if the detainees cannot present proof of their bona fides within a one week appeal period, they will be deported without recourse. They will be finger printed, DNAed, and photographed and admonished that if they return without the proper documentation, they will do hard time for not less than two years or five years for a repeat offender. I have further directed the DHS to propose all of the other changes in the current law that may be necessary to assure the achievement of these goals.
(I will ask the Congress to limit the Office of the Presidency’s ability to issue executive orders except those that are clearly within the scope and pursuant to the implementation of the laws passed by the Congress and making the issuance of any other executive orders an impeachable offense as a usurpation of the role of Congress)
The basis for the appeal of deportation orders will be very limited. First, If any employer can present irrefutable proof that: (1) he has paid all of the payroll taxes and withholding required of past and present illegal aliens in his employ; and (2) that he is unable to fill his jobs by offering a living wage at the American standard for each job and skill level as determined by the Department of Labor in consultation with local unions, professional organizations and state government, that may be a possible basis for a successful appeal and the granting a green card if the alien can also pass a background check and a medical exam.
Second, family separation or unification will never be permitted as a basis for immigration decisions or appeals.
Third, visa overstays will not be allowed any special privileges; if their visas have expired, they must leave. The only exception to this rule will be foreign PhD students in engineering, physical science, mathematics and medicine who are fluent in English and who apply under a fast track citizenship plan with the endorsement of the faculty of their departments.
Illegal aliens may not be detained for more than one year. If their cases have not been resolved by the end of that period, they must be deported without recourse. Difficult cases involving requests for political asylum will be handled only by immigration judges. State-licensed Immigration Justices of the Peace will focus on routine cases where political asylum requests are not involved and where the detainee has not been able to present proof of his or her bona fides. Their decisions are not appealable. Aliens under a removal order must take their minor children with them regardless of the citizenship of the children. This action will not keep the children from exercising their citizenship later when they reach age 21.
I ask the Congress to quickly pass a comprehensive immigration reform bill that will:
(1) reduce the total number of legal immigrants allowed to not more than 200,000 annually, focused on the applicants most likely to be able to help us remain competitive in the world marketplace;
(2) modify the meaning of the 14th amendment to assure that illegal aliens, foreign students, and tourists are not considered within the jurisdiction of the U.S. for the purpose of achieving birthright citizenship for their children born in the U.S.;
(3) reduce the types of visas to four: students, tourists; business travelers; and temporary migrant farm workers;
(4) level the playing field so that adult relatives of U.S. citizens or permanent residents must compete with all other applicants;
(5) prohibits the entry into and presence of female aliens in the U.S. who are pregnant or who become pregnant;
(6) authorize the construction of triage and obstetric hospitals north and south of the borders with the cost of construction being shared with our neighboring countries but the staffing to be provided by our neighbors;
(7) make failure to enforce immigration laws an impeachable offense for all federal officials from the president on down;
(8) reduce funding for Medicaid and education for any state or municipality that fails to provide full police authority to ask any individual stopped for another violation to prove his or her legal presence in the U.S. and in the absence of such proof, to deliver that individual to the nearest federal detention facility for immediate processing and deportation as appropriate;
(9) authorize a DREAM act that is significantly strengthened over the previous versions presented to the Congress to require as a minimum of a 4 year enlistment in the armed forces for every applicant and providing for the continuous audit of all applications and the enforcement with appropriate penalties for fraudulent applications up to immediate deportation.
I erred in usurping Congress’s role in the case of the DREAM act. It would be appropriate to judge me as having thumbing my nose at the Congress by doing by executive fiat what the Congress has already denied. In doing so I have indulged in another impeachable offense in the eyes of many. I appear to have taken the indefensible step of governing by decree.
In view of the difficult financial circumstances we are in I understand the reluctance of the Congress to approve any tax increases or any measures that will increase the national debt. I am therefore directing that all foreign aid to countries that have voted against the U.S. or failed to support our position in the UN at least 75% of the time be terminated immediately and those funds be reallocated to some job creation ideas from both sides of the aisle as agreed upon by the Congress.
I have further directed that our troops be removed from Afghanistan and Iraq by the end of this year. With the approval of the Pakistani government, we will provide a significant force in Pakistan to help guard its nuclear weapons and assure that they do not fall into the wrong hands. We will ask India and Pakistan to engage in serious negotiations leading to the elimination of nuclear weapons in both countries as soon as possible.
I will ask the Congress to delay indefinitely any further implementation of the heath care reform act until our national debt is no more than 18% of our GDP.
We will ask the states to identify the types of unemployment that are most prevalent in their states and to suggest how best those pockets of highest unemployment can be eliminated in a permanent and productive way without wasting taxpayers’ money.
We will ask the Justice Department to ascertain how the $60 billion of fraud in Iraq and Afghanistan can best be recovered and the culprits punished.
Now obviously I can’t do this unilaterally. I freely admit that I have already taken some ill-advised actions of that nature by abusing my power to issue executive orders. I will need the help of every member of Congress and the American people to bring my proposals to fruition.
Finally, because of my many lies, failures to enforce the law and usurpations of Congressional authority, I will not seek a second term. If nominated I will not run; if elected I will not serve. This should enable us all to put our undivided energy into the creation of jobs and the restoration of our economy and the value of the dollar.
